[ad_1]
That’s when it really sinks that you’re alone. Not in the parenting and homework-cajoling but in the calm after the child-caring storm. That was when the tears would roll after a bad day at work with no one to download with. That’s when I felt an innate understanding of the SPAT (Single Parents Alone Together) chants from the film About a Boy and the need for a hug in a community hall that smells of feet.
That’s, perhaps, when I yearned for a guy in the exact same position as me with a deep-rooted desire to go to Legoland. Someone who also has to wake up the next morning at 7.03am and painfully choose between an urgent work email and teaching his son spellings. Someone who gets it but, most importantly, gets me.
When I was about to delete Hinge a few months ago, one message popped up. It was from a guy who listed Harry Potter as one of his hobbies and clearly ticked the “handsome” checklist. I wavered about responding because I was about to make my dramatic exit – that no one would be aware of. But I sent a message back. We met a few days later. And the minute I walked into the restaurant on our first date, it was lovely at first sight.
Among a sea of terrifying potential suitors, his ability to weave Gringotts and golden snitch into the everyday and unwaveringly kind eyes got that first date over the line. He has kids the same age as mine and when the going gets tough, he’s now just a WhatsApp message away.
As am I for him. Sure, “Do you have kids?” might not be the sexiest Hinge opener – but we’re a tag team with a terrifyingly imbalanced 2:4 ratio. When I’m sinking in feelings of guilt, he has an innate empathy for the weight of responsibility when two becomes one.
Loading
I don’t think I imagined what the world of dating would look like post-divorce. The additional jigsaw pieces that would need to be slotted together. But there’s a natural understanding that the kids are a priority with someone who is also a parent. There’s a deep and nuanced compassion for what it takes to drop your kids off with an ex. A kindness and empathy for that moment I found a little mitten in my bag and burst into tears because the separation ache was so intense.
I don’t think there’s a second when navigating the divorce proceedings to consider the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels like such a quagmire of forms and administrative wranglings that it’s hard to see the wood from the trees. But I feel like I’m coming up for air. That there was always hope underneath all the seemingly impossible decisions around untangling from a marriage.
That happiness is mine for the taking. And for all the fear of breaking up a family and the impact on my children in that, they get to see their parents happy as part of a blended family. It might not be that elusive “happily ever after” but happiness is flooding in.
Love is, indeed, in the air – and the future is increasingly bright. It’s possibly not the standard crescendo in a Disney film or fairytale story, but a very happy ending all the same.
[ad_2]
Source link
