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Then, once you can comfortably walk or jog at a “conversational” pace for about 20 minutes, add intervals of high-intensity effort, she says – to train for the bursts of exertion sex can require. Depending on your fitness level, running or cycling sprints, brisk stair climbs or high intensity interval training are all good options.
“The goal is to help your body avoid becoming overwhelmed, cardiovascularly, during sex,” Marshall says.
Do Kegels – correctly
The health of your pelvic floor, the hammock of muscles that sits at the base of the pelvis, can make the difference between a gratifying sexual experience and a lackluster or even painful one – for women and men – says Janelle Howell, a pelvic floor specialist in Chicago.
When your pelvic floor muscles are weak or tight, you may not experience as powerful an orgasm. Tight pelvic floor muscles can also make penetrative sex painful. Healthy pelvic floor muscles need both strength and flexibility to be able to contract and fully release on command.
Kegel exercises, which mimic the effort of holding and releasing urine or gas, can be an effective way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, Howell says. The key is to make sure that after every contraction, you fully relax the muscles – something many people don’t do properly.
For women, Howell suggests imagining an elevator slowly going up, then slowly going all the way back down to the ground floor, to ensure the muscles fully release. For men, tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold for three seconds, then fully relax for three seconds.
If you have a tight pelvic floor, experts advise skipping the Kegels and focusing instead on diaphragmatic breathing, which can help to relax and lengthen the muscles. (A pelvic floor physical therapist can offer a full assessment.)
Limber up your hips
Most people spend hours a day sitting, which can lead to tight hip muscles, fascia and ligaments. When your hips are tight, you may experience back and pelvic pain during sex.
“I hear a lot that people can only do one position,” because they’re stiff or other positions hurt, Howell says.
Improving your hip mobility can help your whole lower body move more fluidly and comfortably, and may improve pelvic pain during sex, she says.
As a first step, Marshall recommends releasing some of the constricted areas by placing a tennis ball against your glutes and rolling it around, then shifting it to your hips and hamstrings, massaging each area until you feel the muscle release. This can be done sitting or against a wall.
From there, stretch your hips, hip flexors, glutes, back muscles and hamstrings by doing a figure-four stretch, 90/90 stretch, cat cow or happy baby pose, Howell says, or “any movement that’s bringing your chest closer towards your knees”.
Finally, dynamic exercises such as deep squats and glute bridges mobilise the hips and build strength. And if you want to dial up the intensity, weighted squats, leg presses and kettlebell swings can increase the power in your glutes and hamstrings.
“I love kettlebell swings for sexual training,” Marshall says, because they involve “a rhythmic movement of flexion and extension in the hips.”
Focus on your entire core
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The more strength you have in your core, the more you will be able to move easily during sex. Most of the nerves and muscles that are involved in sex are integrated into the core, and strong core muscles can also help to reduce back and hip pain before, during and after sex.
“Strengthening the core can really help with endurance during sex, helping you feel strong and solid in your body,” says Rachel Zar, a sex therapist in Chicago.
To work the full cylinder of muscles that make up the core, Howell recommends doing planks daily. “You can start small,” she says. “Say you can only hold it for five to 10 seconds – that’s going to help you to engage all of your core muscles at one time.”
Another bonus to working the core muscles? Herbenick and her team have found that, for some people, contracting and releasing their core muscles helped them become aroused. Consider your planks foreplay.
Practice five minutes of daily yoga
Yoga can help improve hip mobility and build core strength. And practicing slow, deep, diaphragmatic breathing is especially valuable for sex, Herbenick says, because it helps to relax both the body’s parasympathetic nervous system and the pelvic floor.
“You might find that vaginal penetration is more comfortable. You might find that erections come more easily,” she says. “Stress is the enemy of erections.”
If you don’t feel up to moving through yoga positions, practicing the breath work alone is valuable, Howell notes. “Even just laying on the yoga mat, putting your hands on your belly and just breathing into your belly can really start to calm that nervous system,” she says, “which can then support more pleasure in your sex life.“
The New York Times
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