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How to help your kids

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“We know around half of mental health conditions begin in childhood, before the age of 14. For many children, mental health issues can emerge around the age of five,” says Hiscock. “The earlier parents can notice concerns with their child’s mental health, the better the outcome will be.”

On a positive note, the Beyond Blue survey found that, like Killian, almost 80 per cent of parents are confident they can recognise the signs of concern in their child and know where to go for support.

“They may be seeing more anxious kids who do not want to go to school or no longer want to do the things they usually enjoy,” says Hiscock. “It can also be changes in their sleep or appetite, and changes in their mood, like being very irritable or tearful. Or at the other end, increasing aggression or problems with hyperactivity.”

However, bullying can be uniquely difficult to detect. “A child can start to withdraw from the family, start to refuse to go to school and unless you sit down and ask them why you may not realise it’s because of bullying,” says Hiscock. “Asking questions like, ‘I have noticed you haven’t been yourself recently. You’ve not been wanting to go to your sports game. Can you tell me what is going on?’ can be helpful.”

For older children, experts say a different approach is often best.

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“Older kids can find it very hard to talk about their emotions in a very direct way, particularly with their parents because as part of adolescence, they are trying to become independent to become adults,” says Hiscock. So, side-by-side, indirect conversations while walking or in the car can be a good idea.

“The good news is support is available, and parents can do things to help their kids, and themselves, navigate these challenges in ways that protect their mental health,” says Martin. “We know that things like a sense of safety, positive connections with others and meaningful activities have a positive impact on kids’ mental health.”

For Killian, incorporating a meaningful connection with a hands-on approach, by becoming the coach of Carter’s soccer team, has proven helpful.

“By coaching, I can guide the conversation about the game and the self-belief of the team,” he says. “I do this by explaining any areas of improvement constructively and making sure I involve them in how to improve in a logical and fun way.”

If you or anyone you know needs help, call SANE on 1800 187 263 (and see sane.org), Lifeline on 13 11 14 (and see lifeline.org.au) or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 (and see beyondblue.org.au).

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