Parking inspectors and other professionals who deserve respect

I was at a birthday party up in the Hunter Valley a while back, talking to an engaging bloke as we shared a beer. He asked me a few questions about myself, and I returned the favour: what did he do for a job? At which point he shot me an apologetic grimace. He worked at the local coal mine.

Why should he feel bad? Sure, the country is still too dependent on coal, but the blame for that can be spread widely – on politicians, voters, investors. In the meantime, he’s doing us all a favour, performing a dangerous job that keeps the lights on. I bought him another beer.

He’s not the only one who’s made to feel like a pariah. In truth, society is full of people who hardly ever get the praise they deserve. Here, in praise of the pilloried, are a few examples.

Parking inspectors. We love to hate them, those Brown Bombers and Grey Ghosts, and sure it’s annoying when (as always happens) you cop a ticket when all you were doing was racing your father-in-law to the hospital after his heart attack, pausing for just a moment to pick up your dry cleaning on the way. And yet consider how much more annoying the world would be without parking inspectors, with shop owners and staff having taken every available spot in every available high street, and staying there all day, commerce killed and the customers forced away. How about some new nicknames? Arise, the Brown Beauties and the Grey Gods.

Politicians without charisma. Don’t they cop it! Journalists specialise in dreaming up insulting metaphors. They are as dull as toothpaste, as boring as a Vegemite sandwich, as colourful as a hessian sack, as tedious as lettuce (although lettuce is so varied these days, I don’t think it’s tedious as all). So, take that, those who are adjudged to lack charisma, such as Anthony Albanese, John Howard, or UK Labour leader Keir Starmer. Fair enough, charisma can sometimes be good fun; occasionally, it’s even combined with competence, as in the case of Bob Hawke. But is it really a requirement? Wouldn’t you prefer someone who could actually do the job? Trump has a sort of weird charisma, so does Boris Johnson. Is that what you really want?

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Toll road planners: Everyone hates Sydney’s toll roads. They are so expensive. They had to bulldoze all those heritage houses to build them. In the case of the Rozelle Interchange, they even got their sums wrong. What idiots! There’s truth in all that. Then again, who else is old enough to remember Sydney before the M5, when a trip to Canberra or Melbourne involved navigating 27 sets of traffic lights and a scenic trip around Bass Hill? Besides which, those coloured lights in the ceiling of the NorthConnex are rather beautiful.

Prison reformers. These are the people who think we’re too tough on people in prison. They also think we could be a bit more helpful when someone is released from prison. Whenever they say this, the crowd responds with an enthusiastic round of booing. “Give me a break! They are criminals! Stop pandering to them, you bleeding hearts!” Yes, but isn’t the aim to stop them reoffending, you know, in order to protect you and me? The “put them in a college of crime”, then “treat ’em mean”, then release them to live among us with zero support, may not be the smartest idea we’ve ever had.

Judges and magistrates. Occasionally, in my journalistic career, I have been so incensed by the low sentence given by a magistrate or judge that I’ve taken the effort to read the 60 or 70 pages of the judgement, easily available online. At which point you find yourself agreeing with the verdict, due to having access to all the facts. Strange but true: whatever they say on commercial radio, most judicial officers are not dangerous radicals hiding a Che Guevara T-shirt under their robes.